A guide to quickies outdoors or in a bar can be quite fun.
Seventy percent of both women and men fantasize about it. Some are turned on by the risk of getting caught; others simply want the novelty of taking the bedroom show on the road. How do you fantasize about having sex? You may want a springtime romp in a field of flowers or a quickie in a bar bathroom, but in the end, sex in public — like real estate — is all about one thing: location location, location.
1. Concerts. “When I was 23 my boyfriend and I were at a concert at a small club,” said Michelle*, 37. “I was wearing a babydoll dress and dancing in front of him, not wearing any underwear. Three or four beers in, we moved back into a corner. Just when we thought things were going very well, some girl screams, ‘Oh my God! Is that a dick?!’ The mood was over. He grabbed me by the arm and we got out of there. My advice is to do it where people really can’t see you, or really don’t care.”
2. Your car. Cars have been a popular sex spot since Henry Ford started rolling them off the lot, and cities and states differ on whether a car can legally be considered a ‘public’ place. “It’s against the law if it offends someone or someone can see it, so it’s a fine line,” says Andrew, an Indiana police officer. “They could be arrested, but usually we just tell them to find a better place to do it.”
3. Bathrooms. These kinds of semi-public spaces are a good start for beginners since you’re more likely to get an annoyed “Move on,” from a police officer or bar bouncer than arrested. In fact, according to an article in Time Out New York, one enterprising bathroom attendant has started cashing in on couples’ desires for fast fornication by charging $20 for ten minutes in a stall.
Even if the bathroom attendant has got your back, every state has laws against indecency and public nudity. First time offenders are generally only charged with a misdemeanor, but that could still land you up to a year in the slammer. But unless you’re getting it on Sting-style, in a multi-hour tantric tango, getting busted for a public quickie is relatively rare.
4. A ferry. “I did it on the Staten Island Ferry once,” said Ellen, 31. “I was wearing a dress with no underwear and sitting on top of him, facing away. If anyone started to walk by, it just looked like I was sitting on his lap. Well, except for all the bouncing. But at least there were no naughty bits exposed.”
5. Over a sink. In addition to lap-sitting, rear-entry works well if you have something to lean over or against — like a sink. Face-to-face works, too, and if you’ve got a wall for support, the woman can wrap her legs around the man while he lifts her against the wall.
Which brings us to the second point: expediency.
While sex expert Brian Parker claims that the endorphin boost that accompanies risk could lead to a more explosive orgasm, most sexual revelers agree that quality sex takes a back seat to getting in and out in a hurry. To minimize the chance that someone will bust up your private party, take a lesson from the scouts and be prepared. Women can wear long, loose skirts sans panties; men can go commando or wear baggy boxers. A little forethought could shave precious seconds off your prep time.
While some sex in public is the giddy actualization of a fantasy, not every groping couple has — or wants — a game plan. “For me, sex in public isn’t about the risk of getting caught,” said Ellen, “it’s about being with someone that I want so badly, it doesn’t matter where we are.” This is a test.