Here’s how to ring her bell.
Today I’m going to give you a series of basic techniques designed to give your beloved woman the very best in erotic, physical pleasure. In my experience, the clitoris is the most consistent source of orgasm for the majority of women. There are other ways to bring a woman to orgasm, of course, but this is where I encourage you to start.
The clitoris is, unfortunately, the victim of censorship. Mainstream media often has a hard time embracing the word and wants to censor or remove it from their dialogue, which suppresses the discussion about the specific realities of female sexual pleasure. This angers me.
The unfortunate truth is that some people aren’t comfortable with words like clitoris, so for the purposes of this post I’ll refrain from the use of the word and call it “ringing her bell” after that ’70s song “Ring My Bell,” which I hope was referring to precisely what we’re talking about.
1. Give her a preview of what’s in store while she’s still fully dressed.
Get her juices flow before engaging her bell skin-to-skin. Her body needs time to get physically aroused, and most often that takes longer than it does for men. Cup her groin in one hand on the outside of her clothing and place your four fingers on her warmest area.
Now, press your fingers against her in series of slow, even and medium-depth pulses. Light pressure is too insignificant. Heavy ones can hurt, but women sometimes prefer this. Keep kissing her while you touch her down there. Combining pleasures is a skill, and an incredible one when done right.
2. Unbutton her pants and slide your hand down the front, keeping your fingers outside her panties.
Now that there’s less fabric between your fingers and her, you can alternate pressing and rubbing her bell in a circular motion. If you need an understanding of bell location, reference a good sex self help book or Wikipedia.
Be sweet to her bell. Combine rubbing with pressure, and alternate that with attention to her entire sexual area from bell down, deeper between her thighs and back up to the bell. Ideally, spend enough time to soak her underwear through from your attention, kissing, and whatever your other hand is doing. That builds more desire and arousal in her, and will make it easier for her to orgasm from your finale.
3. Maintain a direct connection and listen to what she wants.
Once her panties are gone or you’re inside them, her natural slickness will help you a great deal when your fingers start touching her bell directly. If she isn’t as wet as would be ideal, that’s OK because you’re an amazing lover and have a small bottle of organic, water-based lubricant in your jacket pocket just in case, right?
There are many techniques, but one good way to start is by circling her bell with two or three fingers held together. The most sensitive part of her bell is at the bottom: her clitoral glans. On some women it’s completely covered by the “hood;” on other women it’s more exposed.
After you’ve stroked the hood for a bit, you can move to direct contact with the bell, and include it in your circular stroke more or less prominently, depending on what type of touch she seems to like. Speed up your circles a little and stop kissing her. Tell her to feel those good feelings. That helps her focus on the sensation, which will help her reach orgasm.
Stare with fiery intention into her eyes while you keep your hand going. If you’re comfortable doing so, talk dirty to her. Ask her in a whisper if she wants anything to change. That gives her permission to communicate in the heat of the moment. Keep your technique steady. If it feels incredible to her, don’t change anything even if she says she’s going to come.
While she’s orgasming, keep the stimulation the same for the first four seconds, then reduce dramatically and continuously, but don’t stop unless she pushes your hand away or motions for you to do so, which means you just have to slow down sooner next time.